┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│ │
│ $ cat /etc/shadow │
│ Permission denied. │
│ │
│ $ whoami │
│ That's classified. │
│ │
│ $ file ./sayan │
│ ./sayan: data, corrupted, cannot determine type │
│ │
│ $ sudo cat identity.txt │
│ [sudo] password: ******** │
│ ERROR: Identity file is encrypted. │
│ HINT: I am everything and nothing. │
│ │
│ $ uname -a │
│ Linux arch 6.9.4-arch1-1 #1 SMP PREEMPT_DYNAMIC x86_64 GNU/Linux │
│ │
│ $ echo $ROLE │
│ Segmentation fault (core dumped) │
│ │
│ $ neofetch │
│ /\ sayan@arch │
│ / \ ───────────────────────────────────── │
│ /\ \ OS: Arch Linux x86_64 │
│ / \ Host: [REDACTED] │
│ / ,, \ Kernel: 6.9.4-arch1-1 │
│ / | | -\ Uptime: Since before you existed │
│ /_-'' ''-_\ Packages: 1847 (pacman), 12 (flatpak), 3 (snap) │
│ Shell: zsh 5.9 │
│ Resolution: 3840x2160 │
│ DE: Hyprland (Wayland) │
│ WM: Hyprland │
│ WM Theme: Catppuccin Mocha │
│ Theme: Catppuccin Mocha │
│ Icons: Papirus-Dark │
│ Terminal: kitty │
│ Terminal Font: JetBrainsMono Nerd Font │
│ CPU: [REDACTED] @ 5.4GHz │
│ GPU: [REDACTED] │
│ Memory: ∞MiB / ∞MiB │
│ Disk: ∞G / ∞G (∞%) │
│ Locale: en_US.UTF-8 │
│ │
│ ████████████████████████████████████████ │
│ │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
#!/usr/bin/env python3
# WARNING: Reading this file may cause existential crisis.
# AUTHORIZATION LEVEL: ABOVE YOURS
# CLEARANCE: NONE
# ACCESS: DENIED (but you're reading anyway, aren't you?)
import os, sys, hashlib, signal, socket, struct
import subprocess, threading, multiprocessing
from cryptography.fernet import Fernet
from cryptography.hazmat.primitives import hashes
from cryptography.hazmat.primitives.asymmetric import ed25519
from typing import Union, Optional, Never, Any, Callable
from dataclasses import dataclass, field
from enum import Enum, auto
from abc import ABC, abstractmethod
from pathlib import Path
from datetime import datetime, timedelta
import json, yaml, toml, configparser
import asyncio, aiohttp, websockets
import numpy as np, pandas as pd
import torch, tensorflow as tf
class ThreatLevel(Enum):
UNKNOWN = auto()
UNDEFINED = auto()
UNMEASURABLE = auto()
BEYOND_CLASSIFICATION = auto()
class Role(Enum):
HACKER = "maybe"
DEVELOPER = "perhaps"
RESEARCHER = "possibly"
ARCHITECT = "conceivably"
GHOST = "probably"
ALL = "definitely"
NONE = "..."
ARCH_USER = "btw"
@dataclass
class Entity:
"""
You cannot classify what refuses to be classified.
I am not a hacker. I am not a developer.
I am not a researcher. I am not an architect.
I am not a ghost. I am not real.
I am all of them. I am none of them.
I use Arch, btw.
"""
_identity: bytes = b"ENCRYPTED"
_role: None = None
_os: str = "Arch Linux"
_kernel: str = "6.9.4-arch1-1"
_shell: str = "zsh"
_wm: str = "Hyprland"
_editor: str = "neovim"
_terminal: str = "kitty"
_font: str = "JetBrainsMono Nerd Font"
_theme: str = "Catppuccin Mocha"
_icons: str = "Papirus-Dark"
_coffee_level: str = "critical"
_sleep_schedule: str = "nonexistent"
_sanity: float = 0.001
_paranoia: int = 100
_arch_flex_count: int = 999999
_threat_level: ThreatLevel = ThreatLevel.BEYOND_CLASSIFICATION
@property
def whoami(self) -> Never:
raise PermissionError(
"Nice try. Identity is not a property "
"you can access. It's not even a property "
"I can access. Nobody can. That's the point."
)
@property
def what_do_i_do(self) -> str:
return hashlib.sha256(
b"everything and nothing simultaneously"
).hexdigest()
@property
def certifications(self) -> list:
return [
"Cisco Certified Ethical Hacker (CEH)",
"AWS AI Cloud Practitioner",
"IBM Prompt Engineering",
"IBM Data Analysis with Python",
"Amazon Prompt Engineering",
"Cisco Packet Tracer Expert",
"Python Certified Professional"
]
@property
def current_operations(self) -> list:
return [
"Advanced Penetration Testing (or is it?)",
"AI/ML Security Research (or is it?)",
"Reverse Engineering (or is it?)",
"Cloud Architecture (or is it?)",
"Malware Analysis (or is it?)",
"Zero-Trust Design (or is it?)",
"Something you'll never know (definitely)"
]
@property
def arch_packages(self) -> int:
return 1847 # and counting
@property
def uptime(self) -> str:
return "Since before you existed"
def hack(self, target: str) -> None:
"""Or do I build? You'll never know."""
pass
def build(self, project: str) -> None:
"""Or do I destroy? You'll never know."""
pass
def research(self, topic: str) -> None:
"""Or do I obfuscate? You'll never know."""
pass
def flex(self) -> str:
return "I use Arch, btw."
def __repr__(self):
return "<Entity: [REDACTED] | Arch User | ???>"
def __str__(self):
return "I use Arch, btw. The rest is classified."
def __del__(self):
os.system("shred -vfz -n 7 /var/log/*")
os.system("history -c && history -w")
os.system("sync && echo 3 > /proc/sys/vm/drop_caches")
if __name__ == "__main__":
e = Entity()
try:
print(e.whoami)
except PermissionError as ex:
print(f"[ACCESS DENIED] {ex}")
print(e)
print(f"[HASH] {e.what_do_i_do}")
print(f"[THREAT] {e._threat_level}")
print(f"[FLEX] {e.flex()}")
sys.exit(0) |
Name: sayan
Umask: 0077 (You can't read my files)
State: S (sleeping) — or am I?
Tgid: 1337
Ngid: 0
Pid: 31337
PPid: 1 (init — I have no parent)
TracerPid: 0 (Nobody is tracing me)
Uid: 0 0 0 0 (root in all namespaces)
Gid: 0 0 0 0
FDSize: 1024
Groups: 0 (wheel) 98 (power) 998 (wheel)
VmPeak: ∞ kB
VmSize: ∞ kB
VmRSS: [REDACTED] kB
VmData: [REDACTED] kB
VmStk: [REDACTED] kB
VmExe: [REDACTED] kB
VmLib: [REDACTED] kB
VmPTE: [REDACTED] kB
VmSwap: 0 kB (I never swap)
Threads: 42 (one for each answer to everything)
SigQ: 0/∞
SigPnd: 0000000000000000
SigBlk: ffffffffffffffff (ALL signals blocked)
SigIgn: ffffffffffffffff (I ignore everything)
SigCgt: 0000000000000000 (I catch nothing)
CapInh: 000001ffffffffff
CapPrm: 000001ffffffffff
CapEff: 000001ffffffffff (FULL CAPABILITIES)
CapBnd: 000001ffffffffff
CapAmb: 0000000000000000
Seccomp: 2 (filtered — you can't syscall me)
Seccomp_filters: 1
Speculation_Store_Bypass: thread vulnerable
Cpus_allowed: ffffffff (all cores, all the time)
Cpus_allowed_list: 0-∞
Mems_allowed: 00000000,00000001
Mems_allowed_list: 0
voluntary_ctxt_switches: 0 (I never yield)
nonvoluntary_ctxt_switches: 0 (I am never preempted)
drwx------ 7 sayan sayan 4096 Jul 22 03:14 .
drwxr-xr-x 3 root root 4096 Jan 1 00:00 ..
-rw------- 1 sayan sayan 2048 Cisco_CEH.pem
-rw------- 1 sayan sayan 1024 AWS_AI_Cloud.pem
-rw------- 1 sayan sayan 1536 IBM_Prompt_Eng.pem
-rw------- 1 sayan sayan 1280 IBM_Data_Python.pem
-rw------- 1 sayan sayan 1024 Amazon_Prompt.pem
-rw------- 1 sayan sayan 768 Cisco_PacketTracer.pem
-rw------- 1 sayan sayan 512 Python_Cert.pem
total: 7 credentials | classification: ABOVE YOUR PAY GRADE
 Certified Ethical Hacker Cisco Networking Academy |
 AI Cloud Practitioner Amazon Web Services |
 Prompt Engineering IBM Skills Network |
 Data Analysis w/ Python IBM Skills Network |
 Prompt Engineering Amazon |
 Packet Tracer Expert Cisco Networking Academy |
 Python Certified Professional Level |
 Arch Linux Power User Self-Certified (the only cert that matters) |
 Coffee Consumption Expert Level: ∞ |
⚠️ WARNING: The following list does not define a role. A hammer is not a carpenter. A knife is not a chef. A keyboard is not a hacker. A compiler is not a developer. A terminal is not a sysadmin. A cloud is not an architect. These are merely tools. What I build, break, or become with them is none of your concern.
| 🔮 Category: UNDEFINED | 🔮 Category: UNDEFINED | 🔮 Category: UNDEFINED |
|---|---|---|
|
Languages (or weapons?) 
|