Everyone communicates and understands the world differently. A workplace brings together many people, each with their own lived experience, and those differences can create friction and frustration.
This is the double empathy problem: when two people experience the world differently, understanding breaks down in both directions at once. The mismatch sits between them, not inside either one, and closing it takes effort from both sides: the effort to communicate so others can understand you, and the effort to understand how others communicate with you.
This document is my side of that effort. It sets out how I communicate and understand, so you know what to expect of me and how best to reach me with the least friction.
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Name and pronouns: Blair Rampling (he/him)
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Role: Principal Product Manager, Dash0 (Intelligent Edge)
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Working hours and pattern: Berlin time (CET/CEST). You can contact me any time during standard working hours. My actual cadence is unconventional, though: I wake very early and work in roughly two-hour blocks with rest periods between them, around 05:00 to 07:00, 09:00 to 12:00, 13:00 to 15:00, and 16:00 to 18:00.
The blocks are where my focused work lands, not a limit on when you can reach me. I run on a polyphasic rest pattern: short, intense bursts of work with real rest between them rather than one long stretch. The rest is structural, not idle time. I get a lot done in a block, so the best measure of my work is output, not hours online.
I can also flex into the evening when I need to overlap with colleagues or customers out to US Pacific time.
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Best ways to reach me, in order: Async first, always. Ping me on Slack, and we can jump on a call if that would be better. I prefer async because it gives me a written record and helps me with memory. If we do call, I prefer video over voice: I read lips to support my auditory processing.
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Response times you can expect: Async messages get a reply, or at least an acknowledgement, the same day or by the next morning. Genuinely urgent things get a faster response.
I am autistic. My flavour of autism means that I have differences in my social understanding and my sensory system compared to a neurotypical person. These differences are present in the workplace as much as in the rest of my life. These differences present in the workplace in communication patterns, spoken and unspoken (body language, facial expression).
At the same time, I am deeply empathetic and caring. My strongest values are kindness and helping others. This doesn't always come across in my demeanour, since my facial affect is flat and my body language tends not to be expressive. The care is real even when my face and body don't show it.
Autism carries a stereotype of lacking empathy. In reality, autistic traits tend towards sensory extremes, hypo and hyper, and empathy is part of that processing rather than separate from it. The stereotype captures the hypo-empathetic end, but many autistic people are hyper-empathetic, and I'm one of them.
My communication (particularly written) is concise and precise. I write exactly what I mean and ask precisely for what I need. A lack of small talk is not a sign that I don't like you or an indication of my mood. I don't use subtext or implication. I tend to get straight into the business at hand. If you want more small talk or social talk, just ask.
I work best with the same in requests from others, concise and precise. Tell me straight up what you need and I'll get it done. If I need clarification, I'll ask for it.
My facial expression does not indicate my mood. I tend to have a flat affect when in meetings, and tend to have an "angry-looking" affect when I'm thinking deeply. I promise I'm not mad, my face just does that.
In meetings that I'm not running or presenting, I'm quiet and deep in thought, with my unmasked, flat or angry-looking expression, while I gather and synthesize information. Once I've synthesized, I come out with a direct, strong opinion. This shift can catch people off guard.
The strong opinion isn't a dismissal of anyone else's. It's my way of putting mine on the table concisely, and I'm always open to feedback and discussion. My declaratory tone can sound abrupt, especially to those from higher-context cultures. The rest of the time I'm listening, and I speak up when it matters.
When presenting, I'm the complete opposite: standing, animated and engaged with the audience.
Meetings can be tiring for me, because of the social aspect and the heightened social awareness they need. Despite that, I prefer clustered meetings with longer periods of focus time in between, rather than more scattered meetings with shorter breaks. If you can, schedule with me right before or after an existing meeting.
When you schedule with me, please add at least a basic agenda, even a one-line descriptive subject. Empty meeting requests send me into useless rumination about what it might be about.
Part of my sensory profile is an auditory processing disorder. I have a hard time listening when there are multiple sources of sound at once, for example background chatter or multiple people talking. I use lip reading to help process what I'm hearing. Loud spaces are a particular challenge, and at conferences I tend to use the quiet rooms to rest and regulate. Other than during meetings, I tend to work with music on all the time, as a regulation tool. One steady source I control helps me focus; it's overlapping sources, especially speech, that I find hard.
I'm sensitive to light. I don't like the Big Light, and prefer a workspace with low ambient light and task lighting where I work.
Feedback works the same way: give it to me straight up. I don't take it personally, and I'll take it into account and act on it. I can adapt my communication and behaviours in response to feedback and make relationships work.
When I give feedback, I draw on a deep sense of empathy and on practices like non-violent communication. I focus on the matter at hand, its impact, and how I feel about it, rather than on judgement, and I try not to be hurtful. I aim to be clear and understanding. If you need me to adjust how I deliver feedback, tell me and I'll take that into account.
I will find and collaborate with everyone I need to get things done. I will share information broadly and openly, and work in the open so everyone can see what's being done as it happens. I'll deliver.
Give me scope and let me execute. I don't need sync meetings or status updates.
If you need something from me, ask for it directly. If I've dropped something you were expecting, a gentle reminder is welcome. It's never on purpose.
This is a living document. I'll keep adding to it as I learn more about how I work, and I welcome you telling me where it doesn't match your experience of working with me. To suggest a change, open an issue or pull request.
This is my personal copy, filled in about me. The words here are my own personal information, shared openly as an example rather than as a resource to copy. Please do not republish it as your own.
If you want to make your own, the blank template is here and free to use under CC0: https://github.com/brampling/field-guide-to-me. This document is adapted from that template.