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CODE_OF_CONDUCT.md

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title Participatory Quick Reference
date-last-modified 2026-01-06
authors
name pronouns
Marinus Savoritias
fae/faer, ve/veirs
name pronouns
˶𝞢⤬⫒ⵖsᐼ˶
she/her
license CC0-1.0
license-link https://creativecommons.org/publicdomain/zero/1.0/
version 1.1.0

Code of Conduct Quick Reference

Behavior Guide

Behavior Should Be
Damaging Intentions Identified and discouraged. Speak up!
Honest Mistakes No ones perfect. Pay attention to constructive feedback.
Move Fast & Break Asking for consent and respecting when consent is denied.
Feels Wrong Don’t do it. Take a break, clear your head. Do self care.
’Stupid Questions’ Impossible. No question is invalid, or too obvious.
‘Freedom of __' We define kindness within our community environment.
Creepy Vibes... Unacceptable. Words and flirts CAN hurt. End coercion.
Users vs Developers Everyone involved, anywhere. Skill DIVERSITY, not division.

Constructive Criticism Guide:

  • Ask consent first. Don't forget to wait for the answer!
  • Paraphrase, repeat, or describe the work to empathize with the other person.
  • Discuss what’s working, what is helpful, and what you want more of.
  • Talk candidly about shortcomings. Be polite. Plant seeds for growth.
  • Theres rarely only one good way to do something, and everything has a drawback.

Conflict Resolution Guide:

  • Collect thoughts and emotions before the impulse to act rashly.
  • Be authentic. This process is always awkward. That’s okay.
  • Set boundaries clearly. You are encouraged to enforce them.
  • Use “I” instead of “You. Set aside expectations or assumptions of others.
  • Express feelings and release them without dwelling. Let it be cathartic, and then over.
  • Patience. Everyone feels ready to leave something behind at their own speed.

Decision Making Quick Reference

Step-By-Step Process

  1. Decide together whether to act, or whether the matter is beyond the limits of the group.
  2. Reach consensus on what the topic is before sharing opinions/ideas or making decisions.
  3. Identify gaps in protection, knowledge, cohesion and fill them together with the community.
  4. Prioritize understandings from knowledgable and affected groups or people.
  5. Share considerations/concerns/ideas/objections/suggestions without judgement.
  6. Invite as much plurality and diversity as possible before deciding.
  7. Consider:
    • how reframing the problem may address the issue more effectively than applying a proposal.
    • how providing tools to affected folks might be more effective than applying a proposal.
    • how restructuring the group might be more effective than applying a proposal.
  8. As a last resort, combine as many ideas as you can into one proposal.
  9. A proposal is a draft that includes EVERY voice, and focuses on general ideas.
  10. Write the proposal in ELI5 (explain like I'm 5 years old) language. Avoid a patronizing tone.
  11. Present the proposal. Ensure all participants comprehend it. Focus on 'ends', deferring 'means' for later.
  12. Repeat from the top as the proposal is reviewed. Document each step if there is a proposal on the table.

Notes

  • Its okay to say "I don't know."
  • Its okay to say as a community "We don't know."
  • Its okay to share and hope for miracles, so long as our stated goals stay grounded and achievable.
  • Expect limited structural, technical, and social means. Avoid heavily taxing the community.
  • Take the time to do extra research. Reach for books and friends and stuff!
  • This process can take some time. Be mindful of each other's needs as well as your own.

Additional Guides:

Recurse Social rules Inclusive Naming Not Doing Observe First

Remember: Designs mirror creator relationships. Treat others to the same service you want to build.