chore: update node.js version and patch Windows connect crashes (#2724)

* chore: update node.js version

* fix(build): cherry-pick Node.js patch to fix Windows connect crashes

Refs: nodejs/node@1637db0
Refs: nodejs/node@12249cc

* fixup: remove test and docs bits from patch

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Co-authored-by: mcasimir <[email protected]>

Author: addaleax